Healing Was Never Linear
Grief feels lonely.
Like no one in the world had ever felt the kind of pain I was carrying.
Like I was standing still while everything around me kept moving.
The world didn’t stop.
But I did.
Grief became a place I lived in....alone
Not something I visited, something I woke up in every day.
It felt like a life sentence.
Like I would carry it forever, and it would keep me from ever becoming anything more.
There were moments I truly believed
I would never feel joy the same way again.
That I would never fully move forward.
I only wanted to talk to my husband,
because it felt like no one else understood.
Like the world expected me to move on.
Like time passing meant I should say less, not more.
There were moments it felt like people
wanted me to leave it alone.
To stop bringing her up.
To carry it quietly.
And that hurt in a different way.
Because her life was not meaningless.
If anything, it was deeply meaningful.
And I refused to let silence be the thing that defined her.
There was even a time I looked to God and said,
“I know You’re real, but I don’t want to talk to You.”
Because I couldn’t understand
how something like this could ever be part of a good plan.
And still, He stayed.
He held me through the anger.
Through the silence.
Through the moments I didn’t reach back.
And over time, slowly and gently,
He began to restore me.
Not all at once.
Not in some perfect, instant transformation.
But piece by piece.
Now I can sit here, typing this,
after sharing my story in places only God could have led me to,
and see it differently.
Healing was never linear.
It looks like taking it one day at a time...
Letting joy come back slowly...
Not rushing the process...
Finding beauty again...
Trusting it will get lighter...
Grief didn’t leave..
But it changed...
And so did I.
And so maybe, just maybe,
God knew I would end up right here...
Even after everything fell apart.
- Kacie Hutchinson
Founder, Harper Bee Luxe
The Scent Society.
